Communication is a process of conveying information to another person and is a significant aspect in every walk of life. Success in each sphere of activity depends on good communication skills.

Contrary to general perception, communication is not merely transfer of information from person to person, but also covers expression of emotions, thoughts, opinions and desires. Communication is an interaction between two people. It has a lot of significance in establishing the nature of the relationship and the extent of expectation one has in that relationship.

The same sentence may convey different meanings to different people. The interpretation of certain words or sentences can vary depending upon the extent of trust in that relationship. For example, the interpretation of certain innocuous questions posed by the spouse depends upon level of understanding between the couple.

In a normal, cordial relationship, if the wife asks her husband whether he would be returning home early, it means that she will be thrilled to see her husband home early. On the other hand, if there is mistrust in the relationship, the same sentence could mean that the wife is keeping a close watch on the movements of her husband and views his every movement with suspicion.

If the same question is asked by the boss, it will convey other sets of meaning depending upon the relationship with the boss. If the same question is asked by s stranger, it will be open to suspicion because why should a stranger be interested in somebody's movements?

From these examples, it is clear that communication is not limited to words alone nor is it restricted to the modulation or tone of the message. Communication is a set of words and the tone in which they are conveyed to the other person indicates the level of trust with that person. Sometimes there could be communication without uttering any words.

Many times, mere gestures, like raising an eyebrow convey a lot of meaning. Sometimes even remaining silent to an interaction can convey a lot of meaning. What is communication? How to develop good communications skills? These are the two major topics on which a number of workshops are organized these days.

BROT, which is the short-form for Build a Relationship of Trust, is the main theme of many of these workshops. It means that communication between two people can automatically improve, if relationship is improved.

Dr. Stephen R. Covey also emphasizes the importance of healthy relationship in better communication. He uses an allegory of an ‘emotional bank account'. According to him, if one has made regular deposits into that emotional bank account in the shape of honesty, compassion, helpful nature, selflessness and honoring commitments, then the communication with that person will be transparent and enjoyable.

In contrast, if huge withdrawals are made from the emotional bank account in the form of authoritarian behavior, stubbornness, breaking promises and so on, the relationship will be seriously affected and the communication between those people becomes tough and unpleasant.

Those having problems in communicating should first focus on maintaining or strengthening relationship. In practice, learning conventional communication skills will only contribute to outward improvements. On the contrary, the critical factor in ensuring long-lasting success in communicating is to develop a relationship based on mutual trust and respect.

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Living in a marriage is an art, a skill and a commitment. It is essential to learn the basics of relationship and creating a vibrant life based on that relationship. This would definitely ensure a satisfied and blissful marriage. Marriage is a big responsibility as it makes a man learn more about life and its philosophy. From a woman’s point of view, a marriage and having children make her whole and complete. By not marrying, individuals miss out on the wonderful feeling of existence and essence of being. To enjoy a complete bliss in a marriage it takes a million tiny moves from two people who are from different worlds.

There isn’t a way to learn about marriage other than from experience. These methods about marriage are not taught in a school or university. People just follow the path laid down by their predecessors. This implies a lack of effort in trying to learn the fundamentals of marriage and relationships. In an ideal world a marriage should work just fine but it doesn’t. Some marriages breakdown or there is some tension in a relationship. The partners in a marriage become victims of stress and strain.   In such an emotionally charged mindset, many of them fail to analyze, investigate, and realize the quintessence of life and their role in a married relationship.

For a smooth running of a relationship, it is important to offer compromises to your partner than just feeling good about being in a relationship. One should pause to ask oneself does being married only means getting comfortable with security of having food and clothing, and shopping? Marriage is hard enough bringing such low expectations into it. Being in a relationship, instead, means doing things what other partner wants, doing in the way partner wants, gives immense pleasure to the partner. This  ‘relationship action’ gives satisfaction of being in a relationship. People everywhere have lost the pleasure of performing these ‘relationship actions’. They try to find peace and happiness by abstaining from ‘relationship actions’. Hence everyone looks forward to the weekend and vacation. This is new generation weakness. If you cannot find peace and happiness in ‘relationship actions’ you can never find it through abstaining from them. At least one ‘relationship action’ in a week keeps the relationship going stronger and deeper—which can be measured by a cheerful and broad smile on the beloved’s face.  

Most people today seek wealth and enjoyment from marriage. This is kind of top line in modern marriages at least to initiate the marriage proposal and later they match compatibility and personality to find the right person. Although it is well accepted, and many a time people do get the lifestyle desired; for a relationship to endure, the key factor is to accept one another and share each other’s experience in a married life.

In regard to it, a relationship can be explained in Sanskrit as “Anubhava dhara”, as in a stream of experiences. As long as experiences flow, there is a life for both as a couple. When the flow ceases relationship becomes extinct. An experience is therefore a unit of life. This life experience comprises of two factors: Subject and Object. When you communicate with the world, subject meets object, you gain experience. Together or individually the flow of experiences is life. At the end of the day an ideal spouse would be one who is able to spellbind you to share or listen to the experiences either for the interest on you (subject), the story (object) or both. If not or if there isn’t any common experience between two; relationship is going to go down. Thus, sharing of experiences and opinions between two are important in a sustained healthy relationship.

Let us look at a few ways available to take this relationship to a higher plane. How you as a couple are related to the world to find peace and harmony? It is not the world or other people who bother you as you believe it to be—but the relationship you have with them. It is practically impossible to have selfless service in marriage. However, it is essential to mend the quality of emotion from preferential attachment to love. Raise self-awareness of reliance of a soulmate in every aspect from mundane to the extraordinary experience to one’s senses. This will reach the culmination of life and relationship, the ultimate state of peace and bliss, the goal of marriage.

Spiritual connection is very essential in every relationship which is the superset of physical attraction. This binds two souls made for each other. There is chemistry in whatever they attempt to do together. Mind carries soul-mate images to boost up motivation and deal with real life in day-to-day activities. This state in mind results in blissful conditioned-consciousness known as waking, dream and deep-sleep. It is wise not to submit oneself to superstitious belief of relationships or mechanical rituals. This may retrograde the spiritual connection between the relationships.

Most of the misunderstanding and suffering in a relationship are due to self-centric nature of the partners. They cannot see relationship as a whole. Although we are aware that the world is not designed to cater to a particular individual, we do expect a partner to cater in the way he/she wants to see his/her life. When things are not going in their way, most people contradict their trust they had in the beginning of the relationship and go for outside opinions. They hardly investigate the truth. They do not exercise their own judgment. They rely on outside forces to do their thinking. And they function predominantly on blind assumptions in mechanical way. This is spiritual suicide of the relationship. Self-centric nature can never do good to a matrimonial relationship. And those minds destabilize the family environment. Thus the partner loses stability in crucial episode of their life.

In some cases, some people, if the situation with their partner is not favoring them, they rely on other parties like extended families, friends for emotional support or for any kind of anticipated future life security support as their back-up. These substitution declines the strength in the relationship gradually. To have constant energy flow in a relationship it is important to make important emotional reciprocity and getting on common terms with your partner is necessary in all aspect.

Here are some simple techniques to refresh the quality of your relationship. Remember your wedding ceremony. Remember your honeymoon. Remember your marriage. Have you ever been awake? Have you ever missed any opportunity where you could have fallen asleep? Physical relationship needs seasoning, it needs time, it needs depth, intimacy, living together, being together. If Sex becomes such a trivial thing – just a bodily affair where surfaces meet and your depth remains untouched. You are again missing something, something great, and something very mysterious – because you become aware of your own depth only when someone else touches it. Only in a deep relationship does somebody’s love resounds in you and brings your depth into being. Only through somebody else you discover yourself.   

No one can force trust on someone; that can never happen. Love always trusts. Sex creates jealousy. If you love somebody in a relationship, sooner or later that person comes with a loving heart. You found the right person. But if you are jealous you will not find that person. If you are simply looking for sex or security for life, you will not find love. Love is hard path, only courageous people can travel on it. It is a penance. There are only two ways to reach the divine: meditation or love. It’s up to you to find your way.

Sex is vital in married relationships. It is the lowest form of energy. If you are spiritual call it ‘God’, if you are scientific, call it ‘X’. This energy, X, can become love. When it is love, then you start respecting the other person. Sometimes you use the other person and feel thankful for it. When you are in love with a woman and you make love to her, you acknowledge. How many people acknowledge or say love-you after you have sex with your partner? May be, many years before, you can remember some time when you were just undecided, just trying! Expecting acknowledgement first from partner, then I acknowledge back is also not love. Once both are settled, taking each other for granted and gratitude has disappeared. This factor deteriorates any strong relationship. This cannot be one day story, must be on going.

Well, true fact is only a woman is real source of existence, who influences every aspect of family. Man is just a player and executor. Although these days, both partners take responsibility of running a family, man holds upper hand. On the other hand, woman is the real energy to move family forward. Without her energy factor, he will be lame. More clearly people understand this notion more prosperous will the family be.

In India, most parents play a big role in marriages. Some parents impose their ideas of marriage. They say “If you marry this person so and so, my blessings are there with you, otherwise we will not bless you”. They do not allow their children to love anyone unconditionally. Some modern parents, the so called educated class say “marry whoever you like” in a string attached way. This ‘liking’ is not good enough to spend entire time together. These parents try to look good limiting their constraints and leaving everything to their children. Love cannot happen based on parents schedule or one’s personal schedule or based on age.

Many of these kinds of marriages end up in stories like this. A lady goes to pet store to buy one. She sees a bird with big beak “what is this strange looking bird?” Proprietor replies “That is gobble bird”. She enquires “Why he is named like that”. In reply the man said to the bird “Gobble bird, my chair”. Immediately, bird started pecking away and gobbles up the chair. The lady, with no more questions says, “I want to buy it”. Owner asked why she needs to buy. She replied “Today evening my husband comes home, he will ask ‘what is that?’ then I will say ‘Gobble bird’. And then he will say ‘Gobble bird, my foot’. What love? What an understanding they have got. Why do they have to marry?

This couple even though they fight and hate each other, they care for each other. This caring is really not enough. This level of caring comes from cultural values we inherit. Most of them try hard to save their marriage. This group of people does not live up to their life. They compromise to look good. They call it love by the satisfaction of sacrifice and compromise they make. This is not love in married relationship, this is not sacrifice. This way we can love anyone around us.

Sacrifice and compromise has to happen in the partner’s interest, and this spontaneously comes out of true love. Love in married relationship is truly associated and should be bound to our true emotions and feelings. Some call such couple as soul-mate. That motivates, inspires, dares, encourages and builds strong confidence, character and attitude for these soul-mates. One should aspire for that love where one can attempt do anything required for a special emotion moment to capture which behold in life forever.

Only those couples in a relationship, can find each day in new horizon, new aspirations. They live entire life as if there is no tomorrow. These cute hearts take life in a positive spirit and reckon both happy and sorrow moments equally in life. They balance their life by giving what they need to give in a relationship.

They explore the true world and see it through different lens than rest of us. They convey love is not learnt from school or university. Love is embedded in our brain like any other fundamental living mechanisms such as, eating, sleeping, very nature of human. They live their life to full, create better environment around them and hopefully produce beautiful replicas of themselves in the world.

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I had written an article long time back about Religion and fanaticism and about how religious dogmas give rise to fanatics and fanaticism. While writing that article I came upon a thought about whether religion suppresses democracy or whether democracy suppresses religion. Either way the effect would be explosive as in both the cases the fundamental freedom of man is at stake. Therefore in this article I have decided to pen my thoughts regarding that very question, whether religion suppresses democracy or whether democracy suppresses religion. There is another very pertinent reason as why this debate should have a logical conclusion. What we are seeing in India along the Kashmir border, what we are seeing in Pakistan, Afghanistan We only point our fingers to one culprit to all the troubles that are been endured by the innocents in these places. Not only in these places but world over we have started blaming one religion for the troubles and the problems and the depleting economy of every nation in this earth. Have we ever tried to find out the proper reasons for the anomalies that are perpetrated world over? Is it not the responsibility of the elected government to set the things in its right perspective? Here in lies the crux of the issue, the crux of the debate that whether religion suppresses democracy? Or the other way round.

Let us then first start defining these two words. What do we understand by the word Democracy. DEMOCRACY: the political orientation of those who favor government by the people or by their elected representatives a political system in which the supreme power lies in a body of citizens who can elect people to represent them majority rule: the doctrine that the numerical majority of an organized group can make decisions binding on the whole group

Democracy, which derives from the Greek word "demos," or "people," is defined, basically, as government in which the supreme power is vested in the people. In some forms, democracy can be exercised directly by the people; in large societies, it is by the people through their elected agents. Or, in the memorable phrase of President Abraham Lincoln, democracy is government "of the people, by the people, and for the people." And now let us define the word Religion. It is very difficult to define religion because it encompasses not only one aspect of human social behavior but it encompasses the entire gamut of human social cultural intellectual behavior. Unlike democracy which just deals with the political behavior of human beings, religion can be seen as a theological, philosophical, anthropological, sociological, and psychological phenomenon of human kind. Again as said earlier to limit religion to only one of these categories is to miss its multifaceted nature and lose out on the complete definition."  There are many interpretations of what defines a religion but not one that can be said to be the most accurate. A strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny. An institution to express belief in a divine power. A belief concerning the supernatural, sacred, or divine, and the practices and institutions associated with such belief. The sum total of answers given to explain humankind's relationship with the universe.

In dictionaries, religion is defined as "any specific system of belief, worship, or conduct that prescribes certain responses to the existence (or non-existence) and character of God." Also, "a set of attitudes, beliefs, and practices pertaining to supernatural power." This was just an attempt to define, religion but how did this aspect of human evolution come into being? If you go to the history you will find that religion was the second important thing that developed in the course of human evolution the evolution of social cultural human being, the physical evolution being complete by that time. the first thing that developed was the need to keep a group of the then hunters and gatherers together as a economical ,social coercive group functioning as one unit, a progressive unit therefore certain rules and regulations were imposed and developed --The first signs of democracy.  The development of religion came second out of fear of the natures fury, the time I am talking about is 40000 to 30000 years before present when the earth was going through various physical turmoil evidence are plenty in various cave arts all over the world which we call therianthropes. Actually the evolution of the brain is responsible for religion to take shape in the psyche of the human beings. The religious mind is one consequence of a brain that is large enough to formulate religious and philosophical ideas. During human evolution the hominid brain tripled in size, peaking 500,000 years ago. Much of the brain's expansion took place in the neocortex. This part of the brain is involved in processing higher order cognitive functions that are necessary for human religiosity. The neocortex is responsible for self consciousness language and emotion. According to Dunbar's theory, the relative neocortex size of any species correlates with the level of social complexity of the particular species. The neocortex size correlates with a number of social variables that include social group size and complexity of mating behaviors. In chimpanzees the neocortex occupies 50% of the brain, whereas in modern humans it occupies 80% of the brain.

Robin Dunbar argues that the critical event in the evolution of the neocortex took place at the speciation of archaic homo sapiens about 500 thousand years ago. His study indicates that only after the speciation event is the neocortex sufficiently large enough to process complex social phenomena such as language and religion. The study is based on a regression analysis of neocortex size plotted against a number of social behaviors of living and extinct hominids.

Having said a little about the origin of religion, how did democracy originate then. Was it the function again of the same developed neocortex? Or was it the fall out of the religious concept where by human beings devised a way to be harmonious and progressive, and economically viable social group? There was an article in the Deccan chronicle dated 8th August 2010 which I reproduce verbatim for my readers to get an insights as to how and why religion laid the foundation to democracy.  "The beauty of being a Hindu lies in your freedom to be who you want to be. Nobody can tell you what to do, or what not to do. There is no central authority, no single leader of the faith. No one can pass an order to excommunicate you, or like in some countries, pass a decree that orders your death by stoning for walking with a strange man.

We don't appreciate our freedom because we can't feel the plight of others who aren't free. Many religions have a central authority with awesome power over the individual. They have a clear chain of command, from the lowliest local priest to the highest central leader. Hinduism somehow escaped from such central authority, and the Hindu has miraculously managed to hold on to his freedom through the ages. How did this happen?

Vedanta is the answer. When the writers of Vedanta emerged, around 1500 BC, they faced an organized religion of orthodox Hinduism. This was the post Vedic age, where ritualism was practiced, and the masses had no choice but to follow. It was a coercive atmosphere.

The writers of Vedanta rebelled against this authority and moved away from society into forests. This was how the ‘Aranyakas' were written, literally meaning ‘writings from the forest'. These later paved the way for the Upanishads, and Vedanta eventually caught the imagination of the masses. It emerged triumphant, bearing with it the clear voice of personal freedom.

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Some people feel that it’s a sin or wrong in God’s eyes… But isn’t it redundant when people say “be who you are” when that’s how God made them?
Best answer:  Answer by Matt I find it funny that people who profess the most belief in an almighty god feel that they are capable of saying what he approves of or does not. Get the government out of the marriage business and let any two consenting adults enter into a civil union, which would confer legal rights of spouse on each other. Then let the churches decide who can marry inside of each church. If the Catholics do not want gay to marry in a Catholic Church, let them ban it. But there would be not special privileges in the eyes of the government for a religious marriage over a civil union.

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It’s long been established that men and women can be friends. But a new study suggests the more compelling question is: Should they?

Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire plumbed the opposite-sex relationships of more than 400 adults, ranging in age from 18 to 52, and found attraction was both common and potentially costly. Across all but one demographic, in fact, the more attracted a person was to their friend, the less satisfied they were with their current romantic relationship.

“Attraction in friendship is happening, and it’s persistent,” says lead author April Bleske-Rechek, associate professor of psychology. “I’d venture to say, based on all our data, that in the majority of [opposite-sex] friendships there’s at least a low level of attraction. And if it’s coming more from one friend than the other, it’s probably the guy.”

Because opposite-sex friendships are a novel concept, evolutionarily speaking, Bleske-Rechek believes people’s hardwired mating instincts impinge on them. Notably, this seems to occur even when both parties claim genuinely platonic intentions.

To put it in When Harry Met Sally terms, “the sex part” gets in the way.

The research, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, incorporates two separate studies. The first uses a sample of 88 opposite-sex friend pairs asked to gauge, separately and anonymously, such things as attraction to the other person, desire to go on a romantic date with them and perceived desire of their friend to take them on a date.

In that study, men reported more attraction to their female friends than women did to their male friends; men overestimated their friend’s level of attraction to them, while women underestimated attraction; and men reported a stronger desire to date their friend than did women.

“Historically, men faced the risk of being shut out, genetically, if they didn’t take advantage of various reproductive opportunities,” explains Bleske-Rechek. “So the argument is that men have evolved to be far more sexually opportunistic.”

The second study draws from two samples: “emerging adults,” aged 18 to 23, and “young and middle-aged adults,” aged 27 to 52. Individuals were asked to spontaneously list the benefits and costs of their opposite-sex friendships, as well as rate their satisfaction with their current romantic partnership.

Across every demographic, people listed more benefits than costs; attraction was named as a cost or complication five times more often than as a benefit; people in serious relationships were no more likely to mention attraction as a cost; and in every demographic except emerging adult males, the more attraction a person felt to a friend, the lower their satisfaction with their romantic relationship.

For now, Bleske-Rechek says the direction in which the latter effect occurs is unclear. “Is it that attraction in cross-sex friendships has a negative influence on romantic relationships? Is it that people who are dissatisfied in their relationship actually seek solace and mate-affirmation in their friends? Or is it that people who are prone to short-term mating styles are less likely to be satisfied by committed relationships, and more likely to be attracted to other people?”

Ultimately, the answer may matter most to academics. For even as the majority of people recognize the risks of opposite-sex friendships, they believe the benefits outweigh them.

“Sexual attraction came up so frequently as a cost — and these were spontaneous nominations,” says Bleske-Rechek. “But people seem willing to take the bad with the good because they find fulfilment in these friendships.”

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BOISE -- A group that's helping Idaho teens learn how to have healthy relationships, and prevent dating violence, is getting national attention. A New York Times reporter is spending the day with the Idaho Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault to highlight the coalition's work with teens. “I was constantly jealous in a relationship and I didn't realize how important the quality was,” said Sara Leonard.

That was before Sara Leonard got involved with the Idaho Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Assault's teen dating programs -- The Center for Healthy Teen Relationships and Start Strong Idaho.
“Now I am in a relationship actually and I can see how much drastically healthier it is, how much happier I am,” said Sara Leonard.

The coalition says Sara isn't the only teen who realizes what a healthy relationship looks like. Six years ago, nearly 14 percent of Idaho high school students said they had been hit, slapped or hurt by a dating partner on the national Youth Risk Behavior Survey.  Today, 8.7 percent of teens answer “yes” to that same question.

“A six percent decrease is something to pay attention to,” said Kelly Miller, executive director ICADSV.
Especially since Idaho is the only state to show a decrease in that area.  Now people want to know why Idaho teens are having healthier relationships.

“We really see it as a community problem and so we are providing a community solution,” said Miller.
The coalition works with the state Department of Education, health care providers and youth groups to promote healthy relationships.  And they start early. “If we really want to prevent abuse later in life we need to start that at middle school,” said Miller. The coalition teaches teens what healthy relationships look like.
‘We learn that jealousy isn't a way of showing love.  That communication is key,” said Sara Leonard.
Those lessons are reinforced through events and competitions.  Recently, they held a poetry competition.
“Reeling in nothing except for moss and an old boot. But we are not disappointed because we are just two perfect friends fishing by the river,” said Emily Luker.

Emily Luker won with that poem.  She says writing it helped her think about what good relationships look like and that is the coalition's ultimate goal. For more information about the "Center of Healthy Relationships" and "Start Strong Idaho" go to: http://lovewhatsreal. Also, an art competition where teens illustrate what healthy relationships look like is happening Tuesday evening in Julia Davis Park in Boise.
Parents and teens are invited to "Chalk Heart" starting at 6:30 p.m. in the sculpture garden.

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SHELBY — Voting on a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage in North Carolina couldn’t wait another day for Susan Oakes.

The Kings Mountain resident describes herself as a “devoted Christian” and said her strong support for Amendment One brought her to the polls Monday. Several voters cited the marriage amendment as the driving force behind their decision to vote early.

“I usually wait till Election Day, but it’s been brought to my attention several times through the ministry, and I felt the need to get in there and cast my vote early,” Oakes said.

The amendment, which would define marriage between a man and a woman as the only legal domestic union in North Carolina, is likely to spark surges in early voting among both supporters and opponents. Elections officials predict an increase of 10 percent or greater in total voter turnout for the May 8 primary.

“I wanted to make sure that, like it should be, a man and a woman is a marriage,” said Dale Harrison of Shelby. “That’s why I made darn sure I voted today.”

Harrison participated in one-stop early voting at the Cleveland County Board of Elections office with Kenneth Harrison, her husband of 43 years. She said “some of the other races are important” but emphasized that the marriage amendment was her main reason for voting Monday.

Shelby resident Kendall Sharpe said he doesn’t follow local politics, but he came to vote because of his passion to preserve traditional marriage. “I’m for it — that’s the way it should be,” Sharpe said. “I made a point to come here for that.”

Nearly 1,600 people had cast early ballots as of Saturday afternoon, according to Board of Elections data. Cleveland County recorded a total of 1,737 absentee ballots, which include those cast during one-stop early voting as well as those submitted by mail.

Early voting participation has yet to reach Election Director Debra Blanton’s expectations. Blanton had previously predicted a record-setting turnout of 50 percent or more of all registered Cleveland County voters. “I think I’m moving down to 40 percent, but that’s still more than the 20-30 percent that we’re used to,” Blanton said. “We should have lines. It’s steady, but there are really no lines yet.”

The Board of Elections office is open for early voting from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. today through Friday. The final day to vote before the May 8 primary is Saturday, when the polls are open from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m.

County residents have the option of same-day registration during early voting, allowing them to register to vote and cast an early ballot. Those who do not participate in early voting and failed to register before the April 13 deadline will not be permitted to vote on May 8.

On Election Day, voters must report to the designated polling place in the precinct to which they’re registered. Blanton said only those residents who have moved and are transferring their registration from one county precinct to another can vote at the Board of Elections after the early voting period ends.

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I’ll say it right off the bat: I don’t believe in long distance relationships. If you live in the same city for a while, and then one person has to move away and you stay long distance until you can make new arrangements—fine. But, if you go away to another city, state or country, meet someone for just a few days, and decide to try and form a relationship around that after you get home, you might be guilty of the following:

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BATHINDA: Twenty-year-old Swaran Kaur, the Punjab police constable who is in a lesbian relationship with her friend Harsharan Kaur, 28, went back to work on Thursday after the Punjab and Haryana High Court directed Bathinda SSP to ensure protection to the couple from their families, who have been hounding them.

When TOI caught up with the couple at Maur police station, they said they have been living under fear for the last nine months and the HC order has given them some hope. Visibly relaxed, the girls, who were provided security cover on Thursday following the HC directions, spent some time together inside one of the rooms of the Maur police station discussing their plans.

"We have been to hell and back. Everybody has been against us right from the day we decided to spend the rest of our days together," said Swaran, sounding and looking confident in a pink shirt and pair of black jeans.

Swaran joined back after a gap of six days during which she had asked the Bathinda SSP SS Gill for security cover but her request was rejected. Dressed in a turquoise salwar kameez, Harsharan, sitting besides Swaran added, "We lived in constant fear all this while. Our parents, neighbourers, villagers, all of them threatened that they would eliminate both of us if we continued with our relationship."

"But now after the high court orders we are feeling safer atleast inside this police station," said Swaran, who has been allotted a room in the residential police quarters.

The partners have decided not to go back to their village Balahar Vinjhu for the time being as their parents and villagers are adamant and dead opposed to their relationship. "We have not sinned. We just want to live together. If our relation is not accepted then we will live in Bathinda town and won't go back to the village," said Harsharan.

Even though both Harsharan and Swaran are childhood friends, they fell in love a year back and as the parents came to know about it both were asked not to meet each other. The couple had decided some nine months back to stay together and on April 20 left their homes when no one supported them.

And back in Balahar Vinjhu, a sleepy little village. Which is situated some 16 kms from Bathinda town, nothing has changed even after the high court intervention. The relatives and villagers don't want the couple to stay together at any cost.

"This relationship is impossible to tolerate. If they want to come back they will have to stop living together or we will outcast them," said Pritam Singh, uncle of Harsharan, sitting in a chair outside his house.

According to sarpanch Gurmeet Kaur, the girls have disgraced the entire village.  Gurmeet said, "Both the girls have done something which is unimaginable and this relation can't be accepted."

"If the girls want to come back then they will have to live separately. We will forgive them for there act. But if they don't come back in a week's time then we will finish our relationship with them," said Jagpal Singh, father of Swarn.

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If you are thinking about having sex with someone, but not sure you’re ready, read these 10 signs before you give in to pressure. Knowing when you are ready for sex is a personal decision and a choice that you should make because you want to have sex.

You should be aware that the age of sexual consent differs around the world, so be sure to find out exactly what age is legal before you do anything you might regret. In the United States the age of consent ranges between 16 and 21. In the United Kingdom it’s 16 and it’s the same in India, but in Spain, the age of consent is only 13.  Check out the age of consent  to discover the legal age in your neck of the woods.

So, when do you know that you are ready to have sex? Here are my top 10 signs that you are ready to have sex:

1. When you know the reason why you want to have sex

2. When you understand your body

3. When you can control your emotions

4. When you can talk about sex before having sex

5. When you can talk about your feelings before and after having sex

6. When you know the other person’s sexual history

7. When you have FDA approved condoms on hand

8. When you know you won’t have any regret after having sex

9. When you know the difference between love, intimacy and sex

10. When having sex is a joint consensual agreement between adults.

Sex is a choice, which means that you can say, “NO”, “Not Now”, “Later” or “Yes”,  but when in doubt, do not have sex until you feel confident about the above 10 signs that you are ready, willing and able to have sex.

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