Following up to Wednesday’s article about good relationships it’s important to take a look at three characteristics bad relationships have in common. There is nothing worse than being anchored down by a bad relationship. Unfortunately, most of us have been in one or maybe you are in one right now. Some couples engage in a series of corrosive behaviors that will destroy the relationship.
COMMUNICATION
We will start with the most obvious one. Communication is the ground where everything grows. With communication you have fertile grounds and without it you have a wasteland. Communication is not just talking or chit-chatting with your loved one. Communication is the exchange of acknowledgments. You are letting your partner know that they are important to you. The first sign that you are heading into a wasteland is having no communication. In bad relationships, disclosure starts to dwindle. Soon after, assumptions and resentment start to rise. Holding in issues can start manifesting with the most mundane disagreements. For example, have you ever started an argument about something small, like groceries, and finish arguing about how things are not working out?
R.E.S.P.E.C.T
Aretha [Franklin] had it right. ….. A relationship is the fusion of two set of values and individuals. When there is no respect for that individual, then there is no respect for the relationship. Respect is taking your partner’s views and feelings into consideration. Respect is not only communicated but acted upon. In bad relationships, there is a gross disregard towards the partner physically, verbally and emotionally.
YOU + I = ME
Me, Me, Me. It’s all about me. How many times have you seen a couple fighting because one of them would not budge? Relationships are about meeting someone in the middle and about consideration. In bad relationships, each partner is looking for their own fulfillment. One of the reasons why this behavior is accepted is because of fear. Fear of losing the partner, or fear to being alone. Bad relationships make sure the individual is satisfied first and then we can start thinking about the other person. While the aforementioned is not an all inclusive list of behaviors in a relationship, this should be used as warning flags to assess the health of a relationship. The goal is to be able to identify the warning signs and learn how to fix them.