I mean sex that doesn’t have to apologize for itself by turning into chocolate or betrothal or a Katherine Heigl movie. I mean the sex a lot of us have had - loveless or awkward or mind-blowingly hot. When Hollywood promises “no strings attached’’ or “friends with benefits,’’ it’s lying. There’s always a string dangling the obligation of commitment. This has been true since Hollywood established a moral production code in the 1930s, and the moralizing quietly persists.
In the best scene in “Crazy, Stupid, Love.’’, a kind of epic romantic comedy that opened recently, a montage stars Ryan Gosling whisking away a dozen or so different women. It’s a breezy, elegant little riff. Implicit in it is sex. We never see what goes on with the many women we’re led to believe he transports to his bed. Until, of course, we do. Gosling can’t stop thinking about one woman - Emma Stone. She tells him to take her to his place, he does, and this time we follow, only to discover that his big move involves not the removal of his pants but the reenactment of a scene from “Dirty Dancing.’’ Women love it, he says. That’s true: many do. But this means that he’s been having sex within the quotation marks of another movie. Of course, that night, he does not have sex with Stone. He laughs and talks and falls asleep. It’s cute. It’s sexy. But, alas, it’s not sex, in a movie at least 25 percent about a sexoholic.
I don’t object to “Crazy, Stupid, Love.’’ I rather like it in its light, juvenile way. It just arrives in another year in which sex is either a shameful, embarrassing thing or deviancy to be conquered by love. If you squint, it could almost be 1937. You don’t want to blame Nora Ephron for this, but Nora Ephron is strong, wise, and well-compensated. It’s her fault, and she can handle it. Ephron wrote the most important American movie about a man and woman made in the last 40 years. “When Harry Met Sally’’ looms larger than “Annie Hall.’’ It’s greater than “Titanic.’’ It’s more devastating than “The English Patient,’’ “Cold Mountain,’’ and “Ghost’’ combined.