There is always a special way in communicating with ones spouse but when you feel that some how you cannot convey your feelings to your wife/husband in what you want the whole sexual act to be like then when the spouse is not around the other better half sneaks away to masturbate on his/her own to satisfy the gap filled since last night. According to me if a person is going through such a phase or feelings then there is a major gap between the couple tied in the nuptial knot. In order to be a happy couple one should not feel shy in expressing ones feelings in what he/she wants in the act, and if for example there is a difference of opinion here then prevent from masturbating and accept what you have in your spouse after all love is all about adjustments.